Often, when a person is being abusive to themselves or others, I will hear people say, “she is like that because she was abused as a child,” or “he’s abusive because he has PTSD” and other such excuses.
Here is the thing, when you say that, what you are actually saying is, “my view and expectations of who you are and can become are very low because of the nasty stuff you went through life”. You are also saying, “you are incapable of being any better because you had a bad life.”
Now, here’s the thing. How would you feel if someone said that to you? It is very terminal isn’t it. It is like, you no longer have a choice, a chance, or even the capacity to do better.
Here is another thing about these excuses:
When you let people be abusive to you, and give them excuses as to why it’s ok for them to do it, you are in fact involved in the most uncompassionate act on the planet.
